Shifting Sand Beach
(Against a scrolling red background with the Ugly NI, '70s style JuGo, and NHK logo, Takashi Edwards says "This is Public TV For Isuten, on viewer-supported JOTO-TV and JOIT-TV." PUBLIC TV FOR ISUTEN flips in, written in Kanji, along with the Ugly NI and '70s style JuGo.) It's a peaceful day at Honeyasume Beach. The sun is shining, all the beachgoers are relaxing or having fun... it seems like paradise. Little do they know, though, that Ramirez, the Satanist who had broken out of jail back in Isuten, had planted several Akumana all over the beach. The Akumana had created dry quicksand pits all over the beach overnight, and soon the first quicksand pit would start dragging unsuspecting beachgoers to their doom. The lifeguards, who are patrolling the beach to make sure nobody gets hurt, suddenly hear screaming. They run over to the source and see that the scream had come from a high-school girl who is already up to her neck in quicksand. Fortunately, her hands are still visible, and the lifeguards grab them and pull her out. The girl, dazed and confused, asks, "What the hell is going on? I mean, what the hell is going on?" One of the lifeguards says, "I don't know, but if it weren't for us you'd be dead. That area you just stepped in was a dry quicksand pit that spontaneously came about." The girl says, "Spontaneously is right! I mean, I stepped in that very spot last time I went to this beach, and I didn't sink in it until now!" The lifeguard says, "The black magic in Isuten has finally spread to Oriyama." Then he shouts, "ATTENTION ALL BEACHGOERS! WATCH YOUR STEP! THERE'S BLACK MAGIC WITHIN THE SAND, BECAUSE WE'VE NEVER DEALT WITH QUICKSAND PITS BEFORE IN THE SEVERAL CENTURIES THIS BEACH HAS BEEN OPEN!" The lifeguard then goes to the girl and says, "Hurry up and get out of here! Who knows where quicksand will show up?" The girl flees, and the lifeguard says, "We need some anti-black magic around here." ----------------------------------------------------------------------- (OP: "Hopscotch of Love" by Lovely and Wild Angels) ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Today's episode "Shifting Sand Beach" ----------------------------------------------------------------------- The girls are enjoying themselves on the walk to Honeyasume Beach, and each one is wearing different swimsuits to reflect their theme colors and personalities. Sakura Cobain's swimsuit is a one-piece swimsuit, colored red. Rizuka Kuno's is an orange bikini. Shugo Kino's reflects her tomboyish nature, being a two-piece swimsuit, the top part that moderately exposes her midriff and is a zip-on (not what you'd expect of a bikini top), and the bottom part that bears a closer resemblance to shorts than to a traditional bikini bottom. Isuzu Watanabe's is a yellow bikini with purple polka dots. And Taiko Sorano's is a green one-piece swimsuit. Sakura says, "So, Shugo, I hear that Honeyasume Beach is the perfect place to go for summer fun." Shugo says, "You heard right." Isuzu says, "I read a newspaper article a few years ago on how a great white attacked innocent beachgoers, so I might want to stay out of the water." "Are you kidding?" Shugo asks. "I'd just love a good shark-infested swim!" "Uh, guys," Sakura says, "I hate to break it to you, but..." Sakura had noticed a guy waist-deep in sand and still sinking. Shugo dashes over to the guy and pulls him out. The guy says, "What a relief. A girl saves me from quicksand!" Shugo says, "It's not quicksand; otherwise you would've hit the bottom by now." Sakura steps up and says, "FYI, Mac, what you just stumbled into is a collapsing dry sand pit, unknown to beachgoers at Honeyasume Beach. You were lucky to get out of there." "Uh, guys," Rizuka says, "are you thinking what I'm thinking?" The guy asks, "What are you thinking?" Rizuka says, "It's black magic." The guy blanches. "Black magic!? I heard about incidents involving a Satanist over in Isuten, but I never thought this black magic crap would spread to Oriyama!" Shugo pulls a sign out of Hammerspace. Inexplicably, it already has words on it reading "DANGER: QUICKSAND". Then she pulls a hammer out and drives it into the ground literally an inch away from the pit. "There," she says. "I guess that will ward off anyone who'd be liable to blindly blunder into these pits." "Uh, guys," Taiko says, "why didn't we bring Rocky and Poppy along?" "Didn't you read the sign?" Shugo says. "NO DOGS ALLOWED. I've been here before, I know there's a rule against bringing pets to the beach." One of the lifeguards shows up. "Are you by any chance exorcists?" "Yeah," Isuzu says. "First we exorcise the demon, and then we destroy it with a gun." She points to the pocket in Shugo's shorts. Shugo pulls out her gun and says, "It's a .44 Magnum. I'm careful enough that it doesn't misfire, and I always keep it concealed until it's absolutely needed." The lifeguard says, "I never knew guns could be used to destroy demons, but... okay. "Anyway, I just had to pull a high-school girl out of quicksand several yards away from here." "Show me," Shugo says. The lifeguard escorts the girls to the quicksand pit and says, "There's the spot where she nearly died." Shugo takes a "DANGER: QUICKSAND" sign and hammer out of Hammerspace and drives the sign into the sand an inch away from the pit. The lifeguard says, "I'll call you girls if I see anyone else get dragged down without warning, but until then, feel free to do whatever you like in the beach as long as it abides by the rules." "¡Gracias!" Shugo says, and the girls head on over to the water. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- We then see images of the girls having fun in the sun for about a minute. And then... it happens again. Sakura runs over to an area of the beach where someone is being dragged down to their doom, and Shugo accompanies her. After the two drag the unlucky sap out of the quicksand, Shugo does the usual procedure of planting a "DANGER: QUICKSAND" sign into the sand an inch away from the quicksand pit. "When will they ever learn?" she asks. Sakura says, "We need to investigate this Satanism real soon, if the number of spontaneous dry quicksand pits is any indication." ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Meanwhile, in Mansonia, Gacy, with nothing better to do, startles Kuroimetaru repeatedly during target practice. At first, she merely plays silly pranks such as saying "Boo!" or putting her fingers in his neck while saying "Low-profile assassination!" after sneaking up behind him. Soon, the pranks become scarier to Kuroimetaru, who notices quickly: after Gacy splashes acid, aiming for his hand and narrowly missing him, he says, "It's no wonder Ramirez says you have an F in evil; you try to piss us off every chance you get." Gacy says, "It's not like I can use magic like the rest of you guys, especially Ramirez. In fact, I don't know if I even belong here. Who knows, I just might abandon this hellhole when it's my turn to invade the Land of All Music." Enraged, Kuroimetaru fires at her. She still stands there even after being shot gangsta-style. She just says, "I suppose that in these situations I'd just have to catch the bullet." Kuroimetaru says, "That was so funny I forgot to laugh." Gacy replies, "That's because you have no sense of humor at all!" Kuroimetaru fires again, with the same result: Gacy using her hand to stop the bullet. She says, "It's like I'm made of iron." The next shot isn't any luckier ("The heart, thou merciless, don't forget the heart! Aim for the heart or thou'lt never kill me!"), and when Kuroimetaru finally does aim for the heart, she catches the bullet that time too. "SH*T!" Kuroimetaru snarls, throwing his gun down. It misfires and hits him in the shoulder. "I'll get you for that!" he shouts. But by this time Gacy had escaped. Ramirez appears and says, "I can control nature with my Akumana. In fact, I turned parts of a beach in Oriyama into dry quicksand pits. You could learn from me, you know." Kuroimetaru asks, "Any casualties?" Ramirez says, "Those Pretty Cure brats managed to pull everyone out that blindly blundered into those damn pits!" Kuroimetaru says, "You think that's bad? Gacy tried to jump me when she should use nonliving objects for target practice against the Cures." Ramirez says, "She gets to me too. In fact, as soon as I kill Pretty Cure, I'm offing that girl. She's starting to piss me off." Kuroimetaru says, "I'm planning to off her as soon as she turns traitor. For now, though, I'll gladly learn how to turn nature into a deathtrap." Ramirez says, "Your training starts now." ----------------------------------------------------------------------- (Eyecatch 1: Rizuka and Shugo are jamming when Sakura runs past them and grabs the microphone. The PCHM logo appears in the bottom-left corner.) (Eyecatch 2: The camera goes between Isuzu on her bass and Taiko in her drum kit and stops when Sakura with the microphone is in view. The PCHM logo appears in the bottom-left corner.) ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Meanwhile, the girls, exasparated with having to pull so many people out of quicksand, hurry into the nearest hut. Once inside, the girls take a seat. Sakura says, "OK, I've called this meeting for one reason: to get to the bottom of this whole quicksand business." Shugo says, "No kidding! I alone had to pull 7 blithering, blundering idiots out of a couple of quicksand pits that I already marked as such!" Sakura says, "This has got to stop. Pretty Cure, assemble!" The girls pull their henshin devices out of their swimsuits (they had concealed them just in case) and shout, "Pretty Cure Musical Transmutation! Go!" About a minute later, the Cures emerge from the hut and announce their presence to the beach (and the Akumana within the quicksand). "The musical genius with a voice that carries beyond all distances, I am Cure Nirvana!" "The pulsating rhythmical remedy to the universal Mansonian problem, I am Cure Stradlin!" "The bilingual rebel against Mansonia, I am Cure Hendrix!" "The classically trained musician who adapts herself to rock music, I am Cure Burton!" "The deadly drummer angel, I am Cure Roadie!" The girls then shout, "This is Pretty Cure!" Suddenly, they hear something. Cure Nirvana says, "Someone must've blindly blundered into the quicksand! Stay here, girls. This is a job for the leader." Then, Cure Nirvana runs to the quicksand pit. She finds a young man struggling. "Don't struggle!" Cure Nirvana shouts. "It'll only drag you further down!" Nirvana then runs to the man and pulls him out by both arms. She asks, "Are you all right?" The man says, "I'm gonna get my revenge on whoever tried to write me out of the series in plain sight!" "Now, now," Nirvana says, "it's best not to tempt fate." Pause. The man says, "I guess you're right." The man runs away from the spot. Nirvana, seeing that there was no sign in the pit, shouts, "HENDRIX!" Cure Hendrix hurries over to the spot immediately, putting a "DANGER: QUICKSAND" sign into the ground an inch away from the pit. Nirvana says, "I hope that's the last quicksand pit to not have one of those damn signs." Hendrix says, "I hope so too. I never run out of crap in Hammerspace, but I sure get tired of having to put signs everywhere." Nirvana asks, "How many Akumana have been planted in the sand?" "Fortunately for you, that's all you'll have to deal with." Nirvana and Hendrix quickly take a look in one direction and spot Ramirez standing there. Cure Hendrix says, "Not even Zero was stupid enough to give away the number of Akumana he planted in a specific area if he ever planted such a multitude at all. Ramirez, your game's up." Cure Nirvana holds the Cure Mic near her right hand, and she snaps her fingers. At that sound, Cures Stradlin, Burton, and Roadie hurry over to where Ramirez is standing. Cure Burton pulls out her Cure Bass Guitar and plays an extremely low note: "PRETTY CURE BROWN NOTE!" At that sound, all the quicksand pits erupt as Akumana come out. They surround the group and pull guns out of Hammerspace. Ramirez says, "I'd rather not be even tickled by friendly fire." With these words, she teleports the hell away from the scene. The Akumana then fire repeatedly (they were using tommy guns), and Cure Hendrix, in the midst of the fire, picks off each Akumana with her own .44 Magnum, hitting each one on the first try. She then says, "Size doesn't matter when it comes to firearms." One Akumana, though, is a bit late in arriving, not showing up until after most of its kind had been dispatched. Noticing, Hendrix runs over to the Akumana and thrusts her hand into its chest, pulling out enough black goo to make Nirvana vomit. She then proceeds to snarl, "I always knew you were heartless!" ----------------------------------------------------------------------- The lifeguards are removing the "DANGER: QUICKSAND" signs from the sand now that the quicksand had ceased to be. One of the lifeguards says, "Thanks to you girls, the sands of Honeyasume Beach are safe again." "Don't mention it," Shugo says. "I helped warn the beachgoers." The lifeguard says, "Be sure to come back some time in case the Devil himself roams the waters in the form of a Great White." "No sweat," Shugo says. "In fact, I'd come even if Candle Jack himself retu--" At that point Shugo sinks a bit. Sakura looks and sees that Shugo had fallen into a trap. (They were walking along the beach during the conversation.) Shugo says, "I should've known someone would dig a pit around here." The lifeguard, who just happened to be an Episcopal, says, "He who digs a pit will fall into it, and he who rolls a stone, it will come back on him." The girls pull Shugo out, and she says, "I never knew that guy could quote a proverb." The lifeguard says, "As you might have guessed, I'm a Japanese Episcopal, and I'm proud to say I'm not into black magic at all." Everyone laughs. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Ramirez is back. Lady Marilyn notices that Ramirez is not pleased. "I knew as soon as those Akumana surrounded the girls that they'd fire at those brats!" Lady Marilyn asks, "Then why didn't you join in?" Ramirez says, "Because number one, I was within the circle and didn't want to be so much as tickled by friendly fire, and number two, I was afraid my aim would be like that of an Imperial Stormtrooper." Lady Marilyn says, "You might want to learn from Kuroimetaru. He learned from Zero a bit and has been at target practice a lot." "It shall be done." "Good," Lady Marilyn says. "You're dismissed." Ramirez walks over to the shooting range, where Kuroimetaru is firing at a bullseye target. Ramirez says, "Kuroimetaru, I'm ready to learn how to shoot." Kuroimetaru says, "Ah, about time you showed up for shooting lessons! Let's begin." Ramirez says, "I can't wait. Pretty Cure, you're going down for sure." ----------------------------------------------------------------------- (ED: "Raw and Wild" by Lovely and Wild Angels) ----------------------------------------------------------------------- (Next episode preview) SHUGO: Sakura! SAKURA: What? SHUGO: I'm finally visiting a member of my club! SAKURA: Who? SHUGO: Mitsuuru Takahashi! SAKURA: Oh wow, crossdressing boy meets bifauxnen. I can't wait! Next episode: "Meet the Takahashis"! We're coming live and loaded!